Getting Tested Is The New Sexy!

The key to stay safe is getting regularly TESTED for HIV and other sexualdiseases/infections every 3-6 months and knowing HOW to keep yourself safe. Safe Masti is your one-stop solution for testing clinics/labs, useful information on preventing HIV, and de-stigmatising life after HIV. Let’s start now!

Getting Tested Is The New Sexy!

The key to stay safe is getting regularly TESTED for HIV and other sexualdiseases/infections every 3-6 months and knowing HOW to keep yourself safe. Safe Masti is your one-stop solution for testing clinics/labs, useful information on preventing HIV, and de-stigmatising life after HIV. Let’s start now!

The Road To Love For People Living With HIV

by | Oct 25, 2018 | Counselling, HIV, Lifestyle, Living With HIV, Safe Sex, Uncategorized | 0 comments

“It isn’t easy to find love, even for straight people. And, I am not only gay but also HIV-positive,” said a friend, desperately seeking companionship.
Vishwa

Loving HIV+ person

So many of us living with HIV have no idea where to begin when finding love. Some of us have not even come out to our close family and friends about being gay. Now, the onus on us to come out as homosexuals and as HIV-positive lingers around. Within our circles, HIV-negative men keep a distance from us the moment we share our positive status. Sex becomes rare and love becomes impossible.

We, people who are tested positive, start with self-loathing – a crippling feeling of surviving like ‘damaged goods’. But once we understand that we can live healthy long lives and have safe sex, we also start feeling positive about love.

“Fortunately, I have now met more than a few HIV-positive men who are in a healthy relationship with someone who is not HIV-positive.” 

Finding love is not a quest, but a journey. A road that begins with self-acceptance and ends with finding someone who loves you for who you are. Nothing comes to you till you allow yourself to believe it will. Here is what we (few other HIV-positive men and I) are doing to get our lives back on track:

1. Accept, Appreciate & Love Yourself: Finding love from someone else is only possible if you find love within yourself first. Your HIV-positive status can make you feel worthless. You must remind yourself that being HIV-positive doesn’t mean the end. You really do have many chances even then to make your lives wonderful and cherish unique qualities that make you loveable.

2. Take Your Time: I took a few months to get over the depression of being HIV-positive. A designer friend of mine took two years. Another friend is still on his journey towards self-acceptance, even after four years of being tested HIV-positive. Each person takes time to accept their status and be okay with it. No one can or should rush it

3. Don’t Give In: People around us, family, friends, strangers, past or present lovers – anyone and everyone you know might forsake you because of your HIV status. You must then learn to be comfortable in our own skin. All living beings fear rejection, and we humans, are no different. We must stay strong, no matter what. It gets better, sooner.

4. Rediscover Meaning In LifeFinding a reason to love life unconditionally can help you find meaning. Some of us find meaning in other people, some of us find meaning in success, some of us find meaning in sex or drugs. I’ve found meaning in what I do – enriching my own life and trying to enrich others’ lives. If you are unhappy with your life, give it a meaning beyond the regular rut of materialistic pursuits.

5. Stay On The MoveFind things to do and keep yourself busy to keep your mind off your HIV status but don’t exhaust yourself. Exercise. Meet new friends. Travel. Learn a new skill. Volunteer. Dance. Take up a part-time job. Devote extra time and effort to your current job.

6. Find Support: In the era of technology, you are only a button away from the next HIV-positive person. Find people who are okay with your status and be friends with them. You can also find comfort in the shared experiences of other people being HIV-positive. If we can find a company to celebrate, why can’t we find a company to share our experiences with HIV too? None of us are alone in our journey to live happily after being tested with HIV-positive. There are more than two million of us.

Eventually, you will come to realize that being HIV-positive is just another part of you – some people live with a bad back, or diabetes, or asthma. We live with HIV. Each human is unique. We are too: unique, special and, every bit as deserving of love as anyone else. 

Do you have more suggestions or questions to share? Feel free to share them with us.

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In Part I, Vivek answered questions about the emotional labour of loving and living with an HIV+ person. In this part, he addresses questions about the practical aspects of their relationship.
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